Archives for category: sigh

My wife and I were meeting up with one of our college students the other day. We’re just getting to know all of them, and it has been next-to impossible to get them all together at once. So, we’ve been meeting them individually. Much of what this student shared from her life reflects the experience of many Asian American college students — she had roommate problems her first year, she’s looking for an internship, her family life is, unfortunately, quite broken.

But one thing she shared stood out to me. In the midst of sharing about her family, she mentioned that her older brother was thinking of going to seminary. Oh really? we asked. Yes, she replied. He hasn’t had much luck finding a job with his current degree (I think it was environmental science), so he thought he might have better luck with seminary.

Ugh.

It’s so easy to misinterpret or misunderstand the call to vocational church ministry. At one extreme, we over-spiritualize “the call.” Some people love the seat of power, and they think becoming a pastor will give them some kind of authority over people. Jesus had a couple of choice words for these folks. My wife and I used to work with a pastoral intern who loved sitting right next to the senior pastor at church functions, and who hid out in his office area on the church-wide cleanup day. I don’t like the fact that I just spent the last hour and a half cleaning the bathrooms and mopping the hallways here at church but, hey, it’s part of the deal in this case. Not because I’m particularly humble or holy — just realistic. We’re a very small church, and if I don’t do it, no one will. And, in my OCDness, I cannot stand for it.

I am a huge believer in the priesthood of all believers. Although being a church pastor is a unique position, I don’t believe it is inherently more holy or spiritual than working in an office or waiting on tables (in fact, it has a lot more in common with these vocations than some might think). We are all called to ministry — but our specific vocation will vary from person to person.

At the other extreme, some people look down on pastors — as if we ended up where we are today because nothing else worked out. Just today, I was having lunch with a church family when one of them asked me if I had been to college. I was genuinely taken aback. I am a graduate of the top-ranked undergraduate business school for over ten years running (not to mention the same university as John Legend).

Youth ministry is more than glorified babysitting; I work hard to provide spiritual care, formation and direction for our students. I invest in their lives. I keep up with the latest professional journals. I am constantly trying to innovate, edit, repent and be creative, honest, and genuine in my ministry. I have a Masters degree from a rigorous theological seminary program; as such, I try to engage students and their families from a theological, and developmental, perspective.

This is probably a little bit presumptuous on my part, but being in ministry is a little bit like being an artist. How many people have walked up to a Jackson Pollack and said, “My four-year old kid could do that.” Heck, even Olivia tried it out home once. In a similar way, I cannot tell you how many people have come up to me and basically said, “I could do that.” My brother-in-law constantly tinkers with the idea of going to seminary (although he is already a medical doctor) because he is a good public speaker and likes the idea of getting up there to preach. In both art and ministry, it is a lot harder than it looks. In fact, the best preachers I have known make it look easy because of the preparation they have put into it. Not to mention the fact that preaching is actually a very small part of what “ministry” actually is.

If this has all put you into a bad mood, I apologize. Watch this. You’ll feel better.

While we don’t want to overschedule our daughter, we have signed her up for a couple of fun activities this summer. She will be a part of our church’s VBS, of course, and a really cool day camp at SeaWorld later this summer — but today marked the beginning of this fun season. My wife and I tried to play it cool as we dropped her off this morning for the start of her two-week day camp (it’s still harder on us than it is for our daughter).

We like to interact with our daughter’s teachers. As people who have been involved in youth & children’s ministries for awhile now, we value the participation and input of parents. When we returned to pick up our daughter, the main teacher (out of three) greeted us with a big smile and said that our daughter had done really well. I was relieved to hear this; some of the older kids in the Pre/K group at church are pretty mean, and it has kind of given our daughter a complex about making friends. She is still a very friendly & outgoing kid, but this stress about not being able to make friends surfaces from time to time — resulting in huge heartache & frustration for us. A quick aside: if you find time to pray for us, this is the one thing that is constantly on my mind. My sincere thanks.

My relief was short-lived, though, as the teacher completed her thought. It went something like this: Your daughter did really well… I mean, her English is pretty good. It took me a second to realize what she had said. We explained that English is actually our daughter’s first language, because she was born here. The second teacher followed this up with, “Where are you from?” With wide-eyed disbelief, my wife responded, “Well, we’ve lived here in the States our whole lives, but our parents are from Korea.” The main teacher tried to brush it off with, “Oh, I could tell you were pretty Americanized, since your daughter brought pizza for lunch. Some kids bring those Hello Kitty lunchboxes with sushi, you know.”

A couple of caveats: I realize that they probably meant no harm. I’m sure they’re nice and all; just a little bit ignorant. I also realize that they probably don’t deal with many non-white people. This neck of the woods can be a little bit like that. I also understand that this is the world in which my daughter will be living for the rest of her life — I can’t shield her from ignorance forever.

Nonetheless, I am still extremely frustrated. This line of questioning — “Where are you from?” — reinforces the idea that of course we’re not from here. I mean, how could these Asian-looking faces be American, like the rest of us? Now, don’t get me wrong — I don’t want my daughter to assimilate, to feel like she has to run from her Asian-ness or push it aside for the sake of fitting in. Later, if one of her well-meaning white friends says to her, “I don’t even think of you as being Asian,” I don’t want her to take it as a compliment. I want her to be very confident in who God made her to be. While alienation and self-hatred has been the unfortunate story for many Asian American youth, I don’t believe that it must be part of the equation — and I am hoping & praying that my daughter can be spared as much of this heartache as possible. So, when her teacher asks her, “Where are you from?” and thinks it is really funny when she responds, “San Diego,” perhaps you can see why that would bother me.

On a personal level, I am really praying that I would have a thicker skin about things. Sometimes, the intensity of my emotional reaction to these kinds of situations precludes any kind of reasonable, constructive, or appropriate response. I don’t want to live with some kind of chip on my shoulder — I don’t want to give ignorant people that kind of control over my life. And, in all honesty, I think I have been better able to handle these kinds of things — at least when they deal directly with me.

For example, I am usually pretty patient with older Caucasian people who ask, “Where are you from?” just because they come from another world (these teachers from today, however, are not old at all — thus compounding my frustration). I can very politely tell these people that I think I know what they’re asking, but that it is actually pretty rude to ask in that manner (and, if they ask why it is rude, I will explain the whole alienation deal to them). I’m not sure why our racial ethnic background matters so much to some Caucasian people — I don’t often hear them asking each other, Are you German? Irish? Dutch? If one must know, then it is marginally better to ask, “Where are your parents from?” although this still carries much of the same outsider-connotation with it. Probably, it’s best simply to ask the question directly: What is your ethnic background or heritage?

However, when it comes to my daughter, my father-bear instincts kick in big time. I held back today because I don’t want to bias these teachers against my daughter just because they might perceive me as being some uppity Asian person.

Despite protests to the contrary, ignorant and racist attitudes persist today as systemic and institutional issues.

Remember the Skit Guys controversy from a little while back? I don’t mean to dredge up the past — certainly, the response of Youth Specialties, Marko, and the Skit Guys themselves showed that something good could come out of a bad situation. But, judging from the response of many people both at Marko’s and the Skit Guys’ blogs, we still have a long, long way to go. Some highlights:

Part of humor is laughing at ourselves. I hope we don’t become so sensitive that you guys can’t even minister. You guys characterize pastors, janitors, deacons, blondes, Christians, girls, boys…and all of those on purpose. And I love it! Is an Asian character not supposed to speak with an Asian dialect? I have not read the skit, but…at this rate you’ll be writing more apologies than skits.

Well, I have read the original skit and, though it might be pointless to try to help this person understand the underlying issues here, there is a world of difference between poking fun at a Caucasian pastor/janitor/blonde, etc. and laughing at the Engrish-speaking “oriental” buffoon, who clearly is not from here and does not, and could never, belong.

Or how about this little gem:

I pray that you don’t let this discourage you because in today’s society everyone is offended about something. God has truly blessed you two with the gift of ministry through comedy. I have seen you 3 times at the International Church of God Youth Conventions and you were awesome. Just remember that satan will use anything or anyone he can to try to keep us from glorifying God and spreading his Word. Just keep doing what you are doing….showing the love, mercy and grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ through the gift of christian comedy that he has given you!!!

Right, right… now I see — It’s the fault of uppity people of color that they are offended by blatant, degrading racial stereotyping. And speaking out for justice is obviously satanic. Our God (the same One who said, “Let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream” and commanded His people, “You shall not oppress a stranger, since you yourselves know the feelings of a stranger, for you also were strangers in the land of Egypt”) would clearly not approve of this.

I’m really hoping this works out.

According to this article, the vending industry earns around $30 billion annually. While most of this money comes in fifty cent increments on items like Doritos and Diet Coke, there is a growing segment of hi-tech, upscale gadget vending machines. I ran across the iPod vending machine pictured above at DFW.

Stores like Bed Bath and Beyond often put impulse purchase items near the checkout so that consumers leave the store not only with the spatula or towel they originally intended to purchase, but also with a three pound jug of Swedish Fish and a four-pack of Stick Up Bulbs. Marketers have long-realized that by placing the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs at eye-level for most seven year old children in the cereal aisle of grocery stores, they can initiate more emotional meltdowns (“But I neeeed it!”) and, thus, increase sales.

At first, I was strangely amused by the iPod vending machine. Does it come charged? Where would a person purchase songs for it, if the intent is to listen to it during an impending flight? Upon further reflection, there is something troubling about how easy it would be to drop $300 onto your credit card with one quick swipe. Of course, many travelers probably can afford to make such a large impulse purchase, and it is not the responsibility of vending machine companies to ensure that consumers spend their money in a responsible manner. But, still, do we need to feed our instant-gratification mindset anymore than we already do?

The process of spiritual formation is inherently, often frustratingly, slow. As much as we would like it to be true, we cannot simply swipe a couple of prayers through a spiritual card-reader and expect abundant life to be delivered via some mechanical arm into our outstretched hands. To paraphrase something I read once, we should not be surprised when people in our churches are self-centered and selfish when we advertise that we exist to meet all their needs. I certainly believe that people should find friendship, community, comfort, healing and love in church. But it is in that strange paradox of living by dying, gaining by giving, that we find what we truly need.

Here are some of my favorite (and not-so favorite) things from the past couple of weeks. Below, find some of my ranting and raving — starting at the top right and going clockwise around the matrix…

approval-matrix-2.jpg

Party like it’s 1984. Given the recent close-but-no-cigar seasons of both the Red Wings and Pistons, I am somewhat reluctant to put my trust in Detroit sports. But Justin Verlander’s recent no-no, for the Tigers’ first no-hitter since the magical 1984 season, might make a believer out of me yet. Now, if the Lions would just get rid of their GM

Mop top hair shop. My wife recently began pastoring our church’s Pre/K ministry. As part of their age-appropriate learning, she sets up interactive learning stations each Sunday that relate to the day’s theme. A couple of weeks ago, because the lesson focused on Samson we searched high and low for a Play-Doh mop top hair shop — but to no avail. Of course, we found one at Target the week after this lesson. Oh, and it’s called the Fuzzy Pumper Crazy Cuts Playset.

Does 50% constitute a reunion? While the recent album from Dinosaur Jr. should probably be filed under, “Don’t call it a comeback,” I wonder what to do with the upcoming Smashing Pumpkins album. Gish and Siamese Dream pumped some glammy, arena-rock energy into the 90’s indie rock scene, but what I liked best about them was that their band members included James Iha, an Asian American guitarist, and D’arcy Wretzky, a female bassist. However, for their upcoming “reunion” tour & album, neither of these core members will be participating. Boo!

Give me a break. Apparently, the American media is still determined to portray Asian American men as either geeky, asexual nerds or kung-fu fighting foreigners who no speakie-Engrish, as Yul Kwon points out in this video [h/t: David Park]. Double boo!

I can just see the people who put together this billboard hi-fiving each other for thinking so far outside the box.  I don’t know if all church marketing sucks (actually, it’s a pretty great site), but it is certainly responsible for more than its share of groaners like this one.

Sometimes I will watch the late-night music video shows on the Christian television stations — partly because I am mean and snarky, but partly out of sheer fascination.  The hosts, who are tirelessly sincere, will often roll out a video with phrases like, “Check out these fresh tunes from hip-hopper John Reuben.”  Sometimes I worry about coming across as an over-eager dorky poseur to my youth group students.  Actually, I don’t worry that much about being dorky (it’s kind of a given), but there’s nothing creepier than some old dude trying to be “down,” usually using phrases that are at least five or ten years behind the times.  Despite the fact that I am inordinately slangy, I purposely try not to come off in this way when I relate to members of my youth group.  In the end, I think most students would rather have a reliable dork in their lives than some flaky hipster.