Archives for category: family

New Friends (And They’re Not Imaginary!)

January 5, 2008 //

Like Eugene Cho, 2007 was my first year of really engaging the blogosphere (however, unlike Eugene, I do not regularly generate 200+ comments. Dat mange iz populerz like da kittyz!). In many ways, blogging has been a kind of spiritual discipline for me — though not nearly as awesome as Bruce Reyes-Chow’s take on blogging as spiritual discipline (Reyes-Chow in 2008!) and a way to get my head around different things, not to mention a forum for my inner music-nerd’s need to make lists.

One of the best, and most surprising, parts of this bloggy year has been making friends — actual friends with whom I have shared an inner resonance about life, ministry, music and community. Although I still worry that it sounds totally wrong when I say it, I am glad to have met several friends this past year through the internet. I have also been very glad to re-connect with several old friends via Facebook, potential scourge of humanity and harbinger of the apocalypse but wonderful host to online Scrabble and Tetris competitions. I missed the whole MySpace thing (most pages leave me feeling on the verge of a seizure) but FB has been a great way to catch up with friends from all over the country I haven’t heard from in years.

Yesterday, I met up with Jason Evans for lunch at Sipz (vegetarian food even a total meat-eater like myself can enjoy). While it was his impeccable taste in music (Battles! Old school San Diego noise punk bands! Hooray!!) that initially set off our email communications, I really enjoyed hearing about Jason’s intentional community and how God might be leading him & his family in the future. I find great encouragement listening to the stories of those for whom the Gospel encompasses all of life — for me, that’s what missional living is all about.

My wife was teasing me because I was all excited to have a friend with whom to attend concerts now!

Categories communication, community, family, health, missional, music

Go Blue (A Very Happy New Year)!

January 1, 2008 //

Happy 2008!

Being a Wolverines fan is not always easy but, in the words of our friend Ice Cube, today was good day. The Maize & Blue defeated Florida today in the Capital One Bowl to end their three-year bowl game losing streak and send retiring coach Lloyd Carr out on a high note.

Despite their status as the winningest (is that really a word?) team in college football history, Michigan football is frustratingly mediocre in the post-season. I cannot watch Michigan bowl games without a sense of impending doom. All doubts about the other shoe dropping when Mike Hart fumbled the first time inside Florida’s five-yard line were erased by the second time he fumbled at the Florida goal line. At that point of the game I shouted to my beleaguered wife, “Did they bet against their own team?”

Now, hopefully Rich Rodriguez will not repeat the Appalachian State debacle against the mighty Toledo next year. But, for today, we ring in the new year with a rousing chorus of Hail to the Victors!

Categories faith, family, hooray!

Mele Kalikimaka!

December 26, 2007 //

… or, as we might say on the mainland, Merry Christmas!

Christmas is such a strange time for those of us in vocational church ministry. Advent is supposed to be a season of watching and waiting, but because this is one of the “Big Two” seasons of the church (Easter being the other one) it’s more like a season of hustling and hurrying. I’m not complaining, mind you; this is all part of the territory of church work. It’s just that it can make things more difficult to find moments of deep reflection, quietness or joy.

It was a happy surprise yesterday when our family had a chance to visit Christmas Card Lane up in Rancho Penasquitos, not too far from our home. Before visiting, I had my doubts. My father-in-law lives in what is basically a mandatory massive Christmas light display neighborhood. It’s kind of fun for our daughter, but all I can think of is the massive electricity bills. Last year, my father-in-law blew out the electricity in half of his house.

However, what we found in Christmas Card Lane was a neighborhood of mostly hand-crafted, personalized displays. Sure, there were plenty of lights but, clearly, the focus was on the larger than life “Christmas Cards” families had made and put into their front yards. How can seeing Charlie Brown and friends not put you into a good mood? Whenever I hear Luke 2:8-20 being read during the Christmas season, I hear Linus’ voice.

Snow White was our daughter’s favorite:

I’m partial to Calvin, myself!

May the joy that came down from heaven fill your heart to overflowing!

Categories community, design, family, hooray!, just grinning

How To Apologize Sincerely

December 18, 2007 //

Earlier this week, we were up in the LA ~~wasteland~~ area and I was reminded of how much I really, really dislike driving there (I’m trying to refrain from saying that I hate it because, as we’ve been teaching our daughter, that’s a very strong word — but, seriously, I was on the verge of losing it completely the whole time we were driving around). One thing I do miss, though, is Air Talk with Larry Mantle on KPCC, the local NPR station up there. Larry Mantle is a great interviewer but, like Cinderella shrilled, you don’t know what you got ’till it’s gone.

Here in SD, I have tried to supplant my morning Mantle with These Days on KPBS, hosted by Tom Fudge — with mixed results. I’m not saying anything bad about Fudge — I mean, the man bikes to work (and survived a scary accident after being hit by a car while biking to work one morning); I think I was just used to Larry Mantle’s banter and rhythm.

I did hear a really interesting topic recently on These Days: “Apologies: Do Them Meaningfully and Gracefully Accept Them.” Politicians are infamous for non-apologies. Think, Mistakes were made, “We” made mistakes or If I did anything wrong… One guest, Dr. Bruce Weinstein, points out that the classic non-apology, “I’m sorry if you were offended” is actually a thinly veiled criticism: “Well, it’s your fault for being so thin-skinned or weak in character anyways.”

Life together is so messy. In any kind of community (families, churches, friends, workplaces) we constantly run the risk of stepping on each other’s toes, whether consciously done or not. Jokes gone wrong, careless words, thoughtless actions: We hurt the people we love, we mess up all the time. While we don’t want to become a groveling heap, learning to apologize sincerely is crucial if we hope to create, build and sustain genuine community.

I appreciate John Ortberg’s idea on forgiveness from Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them: “Forgiveness begins when we give up the quest to get even.” This is an enormous sticking point for most people; accomplishing it would be nothing short of life-changing. As my wife recently heard from a speaker at her MOPS group, when we choose not to forgive someone else it’s like drinking poison and wishing that they would die. However, I find myself often content to forgive and forget… that you ever existed at all. But the story of the Gospel is one of reconciliation, not avoidance passed off as forgiveness. If we are to live as God’s people, we must learn to forgive and how to ask for forgiveness.

We live in a culture of non-apologies — it’s all damage control and spin. While that might play well to focus groups, it does little for actual relationships. Instead, may we choose the hard path of humility, sincerity and responsibility.

Categories church, communication, community, faith, family, health, ministry, reconciliation

An Advent Uprising

November 26, 2007 //

The term “Black Friday” always reminds me of the Depeche Mode album, Black Celebration (but with less new wave flair) or the Black Plague. This has become an annual, morbid, spectacle as we watch shoppers stampede, fight and generally clog up the works at our favorite big box retailers to the tune of $475 billion this year.

As followers of Christ immersed in this culture of consumption, what are we to do? Yes, yes, “Jesus is the reason for the season” and we must certainly “Put ‘Christ’ back into Christmas” but fighting the temptation to go bust down some doors to get that half-priced plasma television is an uphill battle all the way. These days, every other television ad spends considerable effort making it seem like a perfectly reasonable thing to get into line at 3am to shop or that upgrading to that 52″ plasma screen will infuse your life with more meaning.

Eugene Cho and David Park have raised some really provocative thoughts recently about consumption and what it means to follow Christ. Maybe it’s the conspiracy-theorist in me, but I love the idea of subverting all of the marketing of these megacorporations and the greed in our hearts by turning some of this Christmas shopping season madness on its head.

Eugene writes about Buy Nothing Day and some of the reservations he has about this movement. In general, I think movements like Buy Nothing Day or that gross Feed The Pig commercial (where a man is about to buy a king-sized TV that he cannot afford until his grotesque half-man/half-pig companion smacks his hand) are good at raising awareness about our consumer habits. Greed, overconsumption, debt, keeping up with the neighbors — this is the air we breathe, and it can be extremely difficult to see life from another perspective.

However, it is far too easy to feel a sense of superior righteousness or to participate in things like BND as a one-time only, special engagement. As followers of Christ, we are called to a lifestyle of good stewardship and of genuine concern for others. To paraphrase Bonhoeffer, when Christ calls us to follow Him, He bids us to come and die — and the struggle to deny our impulse for the latest and greatest gadgets and stuff does require a certain kind of death.

The Advent Conspiracy invites us to restore “the scandal of Christmas by worshiping Jesus through compassion, not consumption.” [h/t: David Park]. Like any movement, I suppose the AC runs the risk of becoming faddish or trendy — but I think it is worth that risk. I love that this movement isn’t about not giving gifts or being cheap (“Um, I gave you two rolls of toilet paper out of the multi-pack because I wanted to be, like, a good steward. Right.”) but, rather, about giving better gifts — our time, our creativity, our hearts. Read through AC’s list of relational gift ideas and see if you don’t come across something that would really touch the heart of someone you love this Christmas.

May God change our hearts so that we enjoy giving and may He open our eyes to see the opportunities we have every day to love and serve. Prepare the way of the Lord!

Categories advertising, church, communication, community, faith, family, hope, stewardship