Archives for category: ministry

Unexpected God-Moments

May 17, 2007 //

Our family went for a quick day trip to La Jolla the other day — a lovely town just north of San Diego proper (and pronounced “La Hoya” in case you ever need to say it). There are some swanky shops in the downtown area (where we purchased our first Blik wall decals); but we were there for the beaches. We started at the cove, but the rising tide quickly sent us over toward the tide pools. Our daughter enjoyed seeing a couple of little fish skittering around the tide pools, but spent most of her time making “chalk” drawings in the loose sand. Finally, we ended up at the Children’s Pool — an area of the beach partially protected by a seawall that was originally, as its name suggests, a children’s swimming area but is currently a protected area for seals and sea lions.

We were able to get a closeup view of some seals (which, we learned at SeaWorld, can be distinguished from sea lions because they do not have obvious ear flaps) from down on the beach. None of them followed us home, but we had a pretty great view. The seal in the center looked a little bit stressed out by all the onlookers, so we didn’t hang out for long — but look closely at the seal lying on its back to the center-left of the photo. It is the picture of relaxation — just lying around, grinning. Certainly put a smile on my face.

Though the moments often feel few and far between, I love those unexpected God-moments that put a smile on my face. I was able to have coffee this week with a student who has been coming out to our church for the past several weeks. He comes from a Buddhist background but is earnestly seeking truth. For over two hours, I heard a little bit of his life story — the enormous pressure his extended family has put on him, the brokenness of his family relationships, his sincere search for truth and meaning. He listened intently as I shared with him about God’s enormous, incomprehensible love for people, why Jesus died on the cross for us and what that means for our lives. I love it when God surprises me, breaking through my hard-hearted cynicism about sharing the Gospel.

Categories environment, family, just grinning, ministry

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

May 16, 2007 //

Our neighbors to the north (who still owe me five dollars in real quarters!) might be relieved if this scene from last week’s Taiwanese legislature leads to a new set of corny jokes to distract us from hockey’s violent tendencies: I was at a boxing match and a session of legislation broke out! Speaking of hockey, here’s to the Hockeytown heroes who have defied the low expectations of the Golden Mullet himself and are actually winning their series against the Ducks. I hope I haven’t jinxed them, as I might have done to my beloved Bad Boys. I was just on the verge of hassling my favorite librarian friend (a true Chi-town fan) about the Pistons going up 3-0 when the baby Bulls seem to have made it a series. But I digress…

All too often, the above image describes the life of the church. We find something about which we can wholeheartedly disagree and we turn into Itchy and Scratchy: We fight! And bite! We fight and bite and fight! I might be a bit sensitive to these issues, having attended a seminary that, in conservative Asian American circles, causes some people to go apoplectic. I know people who were told not to attend this school because it was not only “liberal” but it was “satanic.” Makes some of today’s shock jocks sound positively tame. While I was studying there, another student from a nearby, proudly conservative, seminary came to take Hebrew at our seminary. He told his friends he was a “missionary” to the campus. Sheesh.

Sometimes we barely begin discussing a topic before someone takes their ball and goes home — Oh, you think women shouldn’t stay in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant? Well, you must not believe in the Bible. I can’t fellowship with sinners like you. I’m sure it works the other way as well (a progressive voice dismissing a conservative person out of hand) but I’m just relaying what my experiences have been like.

I’m not advocating a naive kind of hand-holding “unity” that ignores theological and/or denominational distinctives. I am, however, all for people dialing it down a couple (several) notches when it comes to engaging those with whom they might disagree. I think John Ortberg might be onto something with his “Sin Prediction Index.” As he writes in Everybody’s Normal ‘Til You Get to Know Them:

When we practice the proverb (basically: less talk, more listen), we begin to learn amazing things. We can live without getting the last word. We can live without trying to make sure we control how other people are thinking about us. We can live without winning every argument, without powering up over every decision, without always drawing attention to ourselves.

Or, as our man James puts it, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Categories church, ministry

Reflections on Asian American (Youth) Ministry: Part Three

April 4, 2007 //

Serving in a Korean American church creates a strange sense of both being intimately connected and profoundly disconnected from the first-generation (1G) congregation. At times, I experience almost a sense of extended family when I spend time with the 1G congregants. For example, over the past several Sundays I have been playing tennis with a group of 1G families. Usually, we will end the evening by sharing a nice meal together (pho, even!). At the same time, in my ministry to second-generation (2G) students there is a deep sense of disconnection. The only time anyone seems to notice the youth ministry is if there is a major problem (or a cluster of heavy boxes to move). Other than vague notions of raising “good Christians,” there is no sense of purpose or mission when it comes to the spiritual formation of these 2G students.

In this third installment of this series of thoughts, I would like to continue to engage some of the thoughts Marko shared here at his blog. His third observation about Asian American youth ministry centers around the idea of integrating youth into the overall life and ministry of the church. As Marko notes, this isn’t really a choice for most AA youth ministries — whether we like it or not, we exist as the lopsided little 2G ear, attached to the larger 1G “Mickey” head.

Misnomers

Most of the churches I have served have at least attempted to organize some kind of ministry to families. Unfortunately, though they have had good intentions, these attempts ultimately failed. Perhaps the most frustrating of these programs were the ones we called “family” ministries but did not integrate a holistic sense of cross-generational ministry. For example, unless we count being in relatively close physical proximity as being a meaningful inter-generational ministry, it is wrong for many of the churches I have served to call their programs “family” retreats or “family” worship services. In my experience, at these retreats there are usually completely separate worship & activity programs set up for each group and at these worship services the 1G parents often refuse to sit with their 2G children.

I applaud the attempts of a couple of forward-thinking 1G senior pastors I have known who have tried to break through this kind of thinking. Unfortunately, they have encountered seemingly insurmountable walls when it comes to the actual practice of cross-generational ministry. For example, attempts at integrating both 1G and 2G language and culture into one worship service usually makes it very long, and not particularly meaningful for either group. It’s a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and in the end, no one is happy with the result.

After a couple of frustrating attempts (and numerous complaints), the natural tendency for churches is to stop trying. It’s easier to walk away than to work through the awkwardness.

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Tags first generation

Categories church, frustration, ministry, second-generation

Reflections on Asian American (Youth) Ministry: Part Two

March 30, 2007 //

I want to continue to build on some thoughts I began to share here. I will continue to use Marko’s observations on the Asian American (AA) youth ministry as a framework for my response. In my first post, I tried to tackle the idea of youth workers being treated as second (or third) class citizens in Asian American churches. Today, taking on the idea of youth workers being treated as hired guns in AA churches…

68 guns
Certainly, the phrase “hired gun” is loaded (oh, the puns). Though I do have certain critical observations of AA churches in this regard, I do not believe that most AA churches intend for their youth workers to be simply hourly wage-earning automatons — nor do I believe this is what Marko was implying in his original post. Most, if not all, of my peers in AA youth ministry have had a tremendous pastoral heart for their students.

Marko is right in using a somewhat explosive (again with the puns!) phrase in highlighting his underlying point, though. It it vital to recognize that youth ministry is not simply entrusted to AA youth workers, but abdicated to them. This happens for a number of reasons, from my experience.

Perceived inadequacy & professional relevance
First generation (1G) parents often feel inadequate in raising their own children. Beyond the obvious language, cultural and generational differences, many first generation parents simply do not have the time (or, in the worst case, inclination) to sit down and spend time with their children. However, this might also spring from a cultural difference — the idea of Dad tossing around a baseball with the kids on a lazy Saturday might be idealized in the Western perspective, but not necessarily upheld in an Eastern worldview. The 1G love language can be very different, and difficult to understand, for their second generation (2G) children, and vice-versa.

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Categories church, family, ministry, second-generation

Reflections on Asian American (Youth) Ministry: Part One

March 27, 2007 //

The controversy surrounding “Skits that Teach” over the last several weeks has caused me to spend a lot of time in reflection – asking myself big picture questions about race, reconciliation and the church, as well as more personal issues about calling, direction and engaging others in meaningful dialogue. It just occurs to me now that this time of soul-searching, reflecting and repentance (providentially) coincides with the season of Lent.

A couple of weeks ago, I was able to sit down and meet with Marko from Youth Specialties. I have been meaning to share for a little while now, but I’ve been struggling to pull together all of my thoughts. However, given that I might never get it all completely together, I want to begin sharing some of my thoughts and reflections.

I was very encouraged by the time I spent with Marko. He is a sincere, down-to-earth and caring individual. I’m not sure how many presidents of other companies (Christian or not) would sit down for a couple of hours with some random emailer, but that’s exactly what Marko did. It was powerful to see an influential person take these issues to heart — Marko had just finished reading Asian American Youth Ministry (edited by DJ Chuang) as part of his desire to engage these issues on a deeper level. He posted some of his observations here on his blog.

I am thankful that Marko has added his voice in this conversation. His perspective is unique in this context — he is both an insider (as someone who is fully invested in the lives of students, youth ministry and youth workers) and an outsider (as a non-Asian-American person) to the situation.

This is a significant dialogue, for the future of Asian-American youth and youth ministry as well as for the broader Church. Marko’s three observations about Asian-American youth ministry are important, and I will interact with each of his insights on this blog for a little while in a series of individual posts.

First, Marko points out that youth workers are often treated as second or third-class citizens in Asian-American churches. While this is not true in every Asian-American church (and is a struggle outside of our community as well), many of us have encountered this ugly fact of life in our ministries. It is not uncommon for Asian-American youth to have gone through three or four (or more) youth pastors during their middle and high school years. One of the first questions I heard from many of my students once I arrived at this church was, “How long are you going to be here?” A youth teacher at our church fired a warning shot over my bow on the first Sunday I was here, saying, “I hope you’re not treating youth ministry as a stepping stone.”

While there are positive aspects to the Confucian ideal of respecting our elders, there is also a dark side to it as well — as evidenced by the poor treatment of many youth workers. Sadly, youth ministry is often treated as either an after-thought or as “ministry lite” by many of our churches because it deals directly with younger people. This translates into an environment where there is no future for youth workers. As Marko rightly points out, “the pay sucks.” None of us entered youth ministry (or ministry in general) believing that we would become wealthy, but there is something wrong with the system.

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Categories ministry, second-generation