Archives for category: faith

NYWC 1: Freebies, Guitar Hero And War-Torn Nations

October 19, 2007 //

I joined the National Youth Workers Convention last night after a full day at church. While having the convention in town means I get to sleep in my own bed, it also means that I’ll be running back & forth from church and and a few other things. So, apologies for a somewhat less-than comprehensive look at NYWC.

A little while back, I had visited the Children’s Pastors’ Conference at the same location (the Town & Country) because my wife was attending. It was at the same location, but right off the bat I could tell that NYWC was going to be different. I’m guessing it was the giant screen Guitar Hero battles being waged in the ballroom hosting the YS store. While I was getting my convention bag, I was wondering why I kept hearing Rage Against The Machine.

Speaking of the bags, YS has done something really incredible. The convention bags come from a company called Freeset, who are “in business for freedom.” Each bag tells this story of freedom in North Calcutta. For 6,000 women, poverty no longer dictates that in order to provide for their children they have no other option but to sell their bodies in prostitution. Now, because they are paid fair wages and work decent hours through Freeset, they can break free from the cycle of degradation and poverty. As their site says, “Freedom has been passed on to the next generation.”

* * * * *

As I wandered through the massive exhibit hall, I tried to find the fine balance between looking at each booth long enough to figure out if I was interested not looking long enough to make eye contact with the people there in case I wasn’t interested. But, like a good youth pastor, I do love the freebies — and this exhibit hall is a treasure trove of freebies! I gathered a nice water bottle, two t-shirts, a couple of pens, several devotional books and magazines and even a DVD in my first day of hunting-gathering. I’m also entered in several drawings to win an iPod.

An aside: The only time I’ve ever won anything in a contest was in high school. I was listening to the local alternative radio station when a contest in which the tenth caller would win an awesome prize would win. Eagerly, I called into the station. I was surprised when I dialed the phone number and I heard ringing rather than a busy tone, even more surprised when someone answered. Breathless, I asked whether I was the tenth caller. Confused, the DJ asked to which contest I was referring. I explained what I had heard and we put two and two together and realized that I had been listening to a program I had taped (perhaps a primitive form of podcasting?). The DJ got such a kick out of the mixup that, although the original prize had long been claimed, he offered me an alternate prize — an Anthrax VHS cassette. Embarrassment won the day, though, and I never went in to pick up my winnings.

* * * * *

I had a great conversation with the good people at the Invisible Children booth. Invisible Children began when three college students filmed a documentary giving a glimpse into the horror of the twenty-year Ugandan war, in which children live daily in the real fear of being abducted and forced to fight and kill as part of these warring armies. You can see an Invisible Children clip online here.

* * * * *

The late evening Worship Together concert featured Matt Maher and Michael Gugnor. While I have seen their names around, I haven’t really had a chance to listen to either one of them. [edit] ~~It seems that Matt Maher’s big hit is his version of Tomlin’s “Your Grace Is Enough.”~~ Matt is best-known for the song he co-wrote with Chris Tomlin, “Your Grace Is Enough”

Before Marko pointed out that Matt was actually the co-author of “Your Grace” and not just someone re-doing the song, I was thinking about the American worship industry’s strange fascination with making big hits out of cover versions of current praise songs — particularly when there is not much substantively different between the versions. Blessed Be Your Name, Here I Am To Worship, Beautiful One and Hang On To You immediately come to mind as recent examples.

The fact that I did not feel a connection with Matt’s songs does not reflect on the level of his performance or execution. His songs are great and he has a nice, clear voice. Rather, I think my heart has been moving in different directions when it comes to worshiping through music. While Matt was leading, I tried to reflect on what songs I do help me worship God. My mind wandered over to Sufjan Stevens’ rendition of the hymn, “Holy, Holy, Holy.”

So, it was with great pleasure that I received Michael Gugnor Band’s first song which was, of course, “Holy, Holy, Holy.” It was nothing like Sufjan’s pared down, intimate take; no, this take featured drum loops, soaring guitars and sweeping synth lines. They took to the stage with passion, and were greeted with folded arms and what appeared to be mostly scowls. I think the youth pastor crowd is pretty tough. In fact, after their concert, I told the band how much I enjoyed their set — but what I really wanted to say was, “Tough crowd, eh?”

But they certainly won me over. I love the fact that they seem to genuinely enjoy playing, and they wore their hearts on their sleeves in worshiping God. On their most recent CD, which I picked up at the merch table afterwards, the track “Fly” features what I imagine must be the only banjo solo meets Queen-referencing harmonized guitar solo in the worship industry. It didn’t hurt their appeal to me that their t-shirt I purchased doesn’t even say their name. It simply reads, “God is green” — incorporating a tree and recycling symbol. Gotta love a worship band that promotes stewardship of the earth!

Categories asian american, church, design, faith, music, worship, youth ministry

Reformergamissionavegematic!

October 17, 2007 //

It might be a postmodern tendency (or just the unleashing of my inner nerd after finally watching Transformers last night) to redefine words and ideas by combining them in unexpected ways. For example, hybrid words like ginormous have made it into our consciousness, and the Merriam-Webster online dictionary (for fun, try out words that don’t fit nicely together — like, “gi-huge” or “hu-big”). Even the holidays are not safe, as we learned from The OC (but, seriously, don’t call it “The OC” — I kind of like the ring of “The Orange Curtain” myself) about Chrismukkah — I have gone the distance with what I believe to be the ultimate end-of-year celebration, Christmahanuramadanakwaanzafestivuskah (Please forward all royalties from these greeting cards to me).

Mo Rocca is a fundit and this guy used to be Bennifer. Seriously, we love hybrid words. Even music is not safe, as Danger Mouse showed us by giving the mashup mainstream exposure (what do you get when you combine The White Album by The Beatles and The Black Album by Jay-Z? The Grey Album, of course).

Fear not, mainliners who are interested in postmodern theology — presbymergent is here! And we haven’t forgotten you either, reformergents.

Actually, I think there is great value in contextualizing and reconfiguring words & ideas. Information is no longer static or easily boxed into a single category [h/t: David Park — I think I should just put quotation marks around every post you write and then link it!], so it makes sense that we would hybridize theological words & phrases. While I know it probably drives some word purists (and hardline whoevers) nuts, this process must not necessarily rob these words of their original meaning. The use of multiple tags by bloggers for a single post might be a helpful analogy — just because an article is about “worship” or “community” doesn’t make it less of either. In fact, this interconnectedness of ideas gives a greater depth to each.

Word hybridizers, roll out!

Categories church, communication, community, emerging church, faith, hope, ministry, postmodern, reconciliation

Friends Are Friends Forever

October 16, 2007 //

I think a good part of what I’ve been struggling with these days comes from missing friendship. I’m not trying to write a sad song here — I definitely have friends and acquaintances and, more importantly, a beautiful, supportive family. But, in the last couple of years since we moved out to California, I find myself missing the community we had on the East Coast more & more. My seminary days were tumultuous and difficult, but I treasure the friendships we forged there.

David Park recently shared some great thoughts about accountability, authenticity and friendship. As I read, I was reminded of the “accountability” group I was a part of during my seminary days. We would gather every week to share about our sins & struggles and to pray for one another. However, all of us being Asian American, I think we were pretty guarded. There were several things working against sharing what was genuinely in our hearts — we didn’t all know each other that well, we were all raised in an honor/shame culture, we were all men and the group was little bit too large to allow everyone to share in a reasonable amount of time.

Now, don’t get me wrong — I really valued, and still value, those “official” gatherings. But those kinds of accountability groups, as Joseph Myers points out in Organic Community, have a tendency to focus on the negative. As he puts it, “There is such an underlying expectation of failure” when all we do is keep “account” of our sin & failure. Even my personality (introverted, and shy to boot) works against the effectiveness in my life of this kind of gathering.

I found that simply sharing life together with these same friends set me on a true path. Laughter and joy keep my heart in order and provide perspective, keeping me from getting too wrapped up in my own problems. Actually being there together builds more trust in my heart than going around in a circle and sharing coded prayer requests with people who are essentially strangers. And it is being there together that creates an environment where, from time to time, deep sharing can occur.

I suppose this is all tied into what I am feeling about my future in the church. I am tired of being part of commuter communities, where the sheer physical distance makes it virtually impossible to build deep friendships. I’ll probably say more on the problems of commuter churches some other time but, seriously, can we develop meaningful relationships in a couple of hours a week — much of which is spent sitting in relative physical proximity but never really engaged with each other? Or can a people’s minds really be there for someone else sharing late into the night at a weekly small group gathering if they know they have a twenty or thirty mile drive in order to get home after everything is done?

Maybe I just need a friend to go to the batting cages, or some indie rock shows, with me. It would relieve a great burden from my wife — who is an extraordinary listener, but who is burdened with the entirety of my worry, stress and frustration — and from me.

Categories asian american, church, community, faith, family, health, ministry, sigh

Further Seems Forever

October 15, 2007 //

Being in vocational ministry can be lonely and isolating. I have really been feeling it these days — my struggle with depression has left me worn out, on edge and easily angered. This leaves me feeling like a failure as a husband and father which, in turn, leads to more depression and on and on. Ugh. I can recognize what’s happening inside of me — which is a pretty big step for me — but it is very difficult to actually break free from it.

Part of my sadness comes from feeling out of place. I don’t blame our church. In fact, I think they would be much better off with someone who understands the language and culture. Although I know it is commonplace in first generation immigrant churches, I find myself increasingly intolerant of “family ministry” meaning essentially “I want to get rid of my children for as long as possible while you supervise them.” Some of the things that are most important to me in life don’t really have a realistic place in the first generation immigrant church context, and that makes it extremely difficult to keep forging ahead in the same direction.

However, as much as I know there is no future for me in the first gen church, I have a hard time picturing myself in a second generation Asian American church context — or, at least, with many of these churches that I have encountered. Let me illustrate: we have a couple of close friends from Orange County who are part of an Asian American church. When the leadership team found out that his background was in the PC(USA) they joked that he was “just barely” a Christian. Sigh. I am weary of this kind of theological arrogance — what good does it do if I can quote Calvin and Piper verbatim, but still act like a gigantic jerk most of the time?

So, then, do we plant a church? Maybe one day, but for now the last thing I would want to do is try to build a new faith community out of frustration or hurt. There is holy discontent, and then there is just plain bitterness. I think I just want to be part of a community where we can be honest and open — maybe not constantly spilling our guts (that’s not really in my personality anyways), but at least one in which we don’t have to go through an elaborate charade every week (and in which “church” is more than once or twice a week in the first place).

Yes, I want to do everything I can to build the kind of community I believe in right where I am. But I would love to be a part of — and contribute to — a church that I am genuinely passionate about, where we have more than “vision statements” that sound great but have little bearing on our reality. I have to admit, though, that dream always seems just out of reach.

Categories community, faith, health, ministry, sigh

Futures

October 11, 2007 //

Marko has written a great post about the future of youth ministry [a link! let’s get those Technorati stats back up!]. He asks this vital question:

if youth ministry past was “proclamation-driven”, and youth ministry present is “program-driven”, what’s our hopeful ‘driver’ in the future?

And Marko takes the conversation deeper with this question about how we would shape the character and ethos of future youth ministry:

if youth ministry past was focused around key themes of EVANGELISM and CORRECTION, and youth ministry present is focused around key themes of DISCIPLESHIP and POSITIVE PEER GROUP, then what would be the key themes of this preferred future?

I love the discussion this has generated in the comments section of this post. It is beautiful to see the hearts of so many people dedicated to serving youth and the passion with which they love them. I really needed to hear these words; I have been pretty worn out lately, and it does my heart good to get my nose off the grindstone for a moment and walk alongside others, even if it’s just to listen in.

I think the amount of conversation this has generated also speaks to significance of asking the right questions — and Marko has given a wonderful example of how people come alive not through yet another top-down, I’m the expert with all the answers lecture but through excellent questions that get to the core of who they are and what they’re all about.

While I can’t say that I agree with everything in the comments (and, really, when does that ever happen?), I appreciate the deep engagement so many people have shown with theology and praxis. Of course, whenever I enter these discussions, I automatically begin filtering and re-processing my thoughts to contextualize it to Asian American youth ministry.

If we want to revitalize Asian American churches, so much of it begins with youth. This is part of what drew me back into youth ministry after several years of serving an adult congregation. Asian American youth (Korean American kids, in particular) are so churched, and yet this does not result in healthy churches. In fact, many young people end up leaving the church in droves, a silent exodus of thousands.

In the next couple of weeks, I will try to put together some thoughts about how I see the future of Asian American youth ministry — or, at least, how I would like to contribute towards building a better future.

Categories asian american, church, community, emerging church, faith, family, hope, ministry, postmodern, youth ministry