it’s been kind of humid around here these days. you might think being born and raised in michigan (and therefore living perpetually in 1984, when our beloved and beleaguered tigers last won the world series – though they’re finally pretty good again this year), and having lived on the east coast for over ten years might have acclimated me to humidity – but, no.
anyhoo, the strange humidity has reminded me of how much i enjoy california. sure, people have their complaints about the southland (e.g., the flakiness, the smog, the traffic) but all in all it’s been great. just like anywhere else, i suppose it’s what you make of it. maybe it’s because i didn’t bring any expectations about what it would be like here…
well, that’s not entirely true. one preconception that has been trounced to bits by tahoe after tahoe is the idea that californians would all be driving tiny, efficient automobiles. you know, the kind you plug in at night – and that greets you with a warm, green hug in the morning. i suppose my thinking was: californians are environmentalists, gigantibus gas-guzzling suv’s are really bad for the environment, therefore californians all drive priuses (priae?). boy, was i wrong.
most any day on the freeway, i expect to hear an announcer echoing about how “grave digger is driving down the 91 westbound this tuesday, tuesday, tuesday” as i see that ford excursion with five-foot tall tires bearing down on me in my rearview mirror. tahoes, suburbans, escalades, navigators, hummers, h2s, titans, f-150s… all waiting to crush the poor fools who get in their way.
it’s called the topkick (the red one) and it’s usually manufactured as a dumptruck or shuttle bus, but monroe truck equipment will sell about 750 of these bad boys to napoleonically-complexed citizens each year. look how it dwarfs that h2. mpg? i think i might be more fuel-efficient than this car, if i were the one drinking gasoline. it’s like giving the metaphorical finger to all those poor fools who worry about the environment, dependance on fossil fuels, or being run off the road by overly-aggressive road-ragers. for anyone who has wanted to be grant the hunter, shooting down bald eagles and eating them on sandwiches, have i got the car for you!