jason boyett’s pocket guide to the bible is an easy read. this, as it turns out, is quite a compliment, given the difficult nature of the subject he is covering – no less than the Good Book itself.

boyett stuff pgttb‘s 191 pages with a veritable biblepalooza’s-worth of information (biblical terminology, character and content summaries, history of the bible itself). to some, this might sound duller than sitting through last quarter’s earnings summary report, again. however, boyett’s conversational tone is both humorous and engaging, making pgttb a very enjoyable reading experience.

beneath the winking and smirking, readers will find pgttb a very useful reference – and not only bible novices. even long-time bible readers will probably find themselves asking, “is that in there?” as they read through some of boyett’s insightful breakneck summaries. the biblicabulary will help readers understand key insider lingo faster than king nebuchadnezzar can say to the israelites, “all your base are belong to us.” chapter six, “the brief history of holy write,” is an invaluable resource for both understanding how that purpose-driven pimply teen boy’s extreme study bible ended up on your coffee table and as a concise survey of some important church history.

and, really, what bible readers haven’t found their thoughts wandering in some of the more obscure texts into thoughts such as, “now that would totally rule as a band name!” look no further than page 186 for seven (count ’em, seven) such would-be awesome band names. in fact, i think his list of awful health conditions (see page 173) would make correspondingly wicked lead singles for some of these bands. imagine the intro, “and after the break, we’ll hear ‘smited bowels,’ the hot new track from forsake my sweetness.”

while watching vh1’s “40 least metal moments” (which, incidentally, was won (lost?) by vince neil of motley crue performing the chicken dance at some random community fair in, like, cincinnati) i realized that scott ian from anthrax is charlie hall’s doppelganger:

while we’re at it…
nick nolte : gary busey :: patrick swayze : kurt russell
michael douglas : martin sheen :: julia styles : kirsten dunst

i mean, really, have any of these people been seen together in the same room at the same time? just some pseudo-apocalyptic 06.06.06 rambling…

immigration is such a hot-button issue, especially here in the southland (infamous home of the minuteman project). i was listening to npr yesterday as i was driving and i heard a very provocative set of interviews with different residents of border towns – both from mexico and the united states.

one story: us border officials set up a roadside check-in station in a city (not a border town, though) and pulled over people who appeared to be of latino descent. one family was forcefully separated by these officials, after the entire family was detained and the parents were interrogated for over eight hours. as it happened, the parents had immigrated illegally thirteen years previous to this incident, and their children were born in the states. after basically being treated like the perps in the law & order questioning room, the parents waived all their rights and were deported. just like that.

another woman, an american, was interviewed in a different city (this one a border town). she complained loudly about how “those mexicans” earned money here in the states and then sent it back home to mexico. according to this woman this is a major economic issue, you see, because that money should stay here. the reported must have sensed something was off, because he continued to question her.

he saw the woman’s family in the car, so he asked if the family was going somewhere. they were going across the border to mexico, she explained, so her daughter could get an eye exam. an eye exam? the reporter questioned. well, duh, the woman answered – it’s like $30 there and over $90 here.

after an awkward pause, it dawned on this woman. “well, um, i guess our money isn’t staying here, either,” she stammered.

if this woman could remove all of “those” people from this nation, how would it improve her lot? *sigh*

my family and i took a quick memorial day vacation up to san francisco (how delightful, “francisco. francisssco!”) and, like good tourists, took in a bunch of the sights. we rode the cable cars, walked around the fisherman’s wharf, drove across the golden gate bridge and, of course, visited alcatraz!

as our boat approached the island penitentiary i had a strange feeling of deja vu, even though i knew i had not been there before. and then it hit me – i had visited alcatraz many times… through a tony hawk skateboarding game on the ps2. i’m definitely not a gamer, so it was a completely surreal experience to walk around this place that i had randomly visited in cyber/gaming-space. i must say, the tony hawk folks did a pretty good job at mapping out the island ;)

anyhoo, during the audio tour of the prison itself, we heard many interesting stories about notorious inmates, breakout attempts, prison riots and such. on one wall was this photo, describing some of the most infamous inmates ever housed at alacatraz:

second from the left is al capone, notorious gangster and tax cheat…. next to him, i believe, is the man known as the “birdman” of alcatraz (who ended up, apparently, in isolation because he was quite a handful as a prisoner). but when i saw alvin “creepy” karpis (second from the right), i had that same, strange feeling that i had seen him before. was it from a movie? was he a minor character from the tony hawk game?

it wasn’t until we were driving home that i blurted out to my startled wife who it was, exactly, that i thought mr. creepy karpis looked like – adam clayton from u2, of course! it’s always the bassist, isn’t it? my wife, being the compassionate and reasonable around here, responded by asking, “don’t you think he would be sad to hear that?” now, i’m not saying anything bad about adam clayton from u2. he seems pretty nice. still, though, bono and the gang might want to run some background checks :O

why do sports have such a powerful effect on people?

i just finished watching the conclusion to game two of the eastern conference finals between the detroit pistons and miami heat and my heart is still racing. i wasn’t able to tune into the game until the final three minutes or so. i was elated to see that the pistons had the game in hand, with a twelve-point lead at 1:46. this turned to worry as the heat mounted a comeback, and quickly gave way to fury as the refs blew a couple of obvious calls toward the end. i was just about ready to meltdown after dwayne wade hit a three to pull within two points with 9.8 seconds left. but, happily, detroit pulled out a four-point victory in the end. sweet reprieve.

in about a month, the world cup will begin in germany. the hopes & dreams of 32 nations hang in the balance. football heavyweights brazil (the 2002 champs), england and argentina will be there… along with a first-time appearance from trinidad & tobago.

i’ll never forget the 2002 tournament. the unheralded korean team shocked the football world and took fourth place. i remember the excitement building with each game… each game would virtually shutdown korean restaurants, bars and markets. because of the extreme time difference, i would watch their games at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning – cheering silently so that i wouldn’t wake up my wife (and on univision no less, because no english-language channels carried their games).

one poignant moment: as korea was preparing to play turkey in the third-place consolation match, i stopped by a gas station in jersey to fill up. as it happened, the attendant was turkish. we smiled and talked about the upcoming match and what a wonderful tournament it had been for both teams. as i left, my new friend looked me in the eye and said, “we are brothers.”

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i love the energy of live sporting events. the smell of dodger dogs, the sight of university of michigan basketball fans all dressed in maize & blue and hopping up & down through the entire game, the enthusiastic high-fives from the strangers seated next to you…. and the songs! i love how baseball players will use entrance music – apparently derek jeter cues up eminem before coming to bat. other favorites among mlb stars include metallica, rage against the machine, jay-z and ludacris.

however, for me, nothing will ever top the entrance song the pistons used back in the day (and still might very well use today): “the final countdown,” by 80s hair rockers europe. i can hardly hear the synth-intro without getting all misty eyed and pumped up. thanks, guys.